Thank god for moms! I'm taking notes about what yours did.
The more you live your life the better. Getting stood up is a good thing. You're out, about and have the opportunity to meet others. Actually, everything can be positive based on how you choose to view it.
Both you and your ex spouse are on different paths. You each respond differently than when you were a couple. With emails stick to the facts, drop the rest. The more you give her free space in your mind by trying to determine her motivation, the more you lose your own life.
Thank her for the ring. Usually you get an appraisal or something that certifies the value of the diamond when purchased. Try and remember. See if she can recall where it might be. An appraisal with a reputable jeweler will not cost an arm and a leg.. just the cost of doing business.
Ack.. I'll work on not trying to fix things... sorry Charlie!
*hugs*
PS.. I love reading about your relationship with your daughter.
Well, I sent a text to the girl from last night saying: "Sorry we didn't connect last night. I hope everything is ok. I understand that life gets in the way sometimes and things happen. I'd still enjoy meeting you so if you'd like to try again, just let me know."
I'm leaving it at that and if she doesn't reply, I'll do as Kalni says and just say "her loss" and move on.
On another note, XW sent an e-mail about my texts asking me to explain everything in one e-mail to her, so I did. Here is her reply:
Quote:
I don't think all of this is worth the time and effort. You make it sound like this is some priceless relic. It is from a mall jewelry store, which meant it had a huge mark-up to begin with. You actually want to spend money to have it certified? That is ridiculous and I think, a colossally huge waste of time. Just take the $550 you were offered, give me my half and be done with it. No wonder you drove us into financial oblivion.
So, I'm at a bit of a cross-road w/how to reply. I REALLY want to go off on her once and for all, but I'm not sure if I should. I know it would make me feel better, but is it the right thing to do? Is it immature to go off on her or should I stick to the high road?
Regardless, I will tell her the tone she uses and her accusations are uncalled for and I will not allow her to address me in that manner again...or something like that.
I'm really tired of holding my tongue and would like to explode on her and then just leave it. However, I'm not sure if that would be productive or counter-productive for ME.
Hmmmm, If you think it is worth more, I'd give her $225 and then sell it for all I could get! She's "happy", you are happier! And the worst you can be is out $225 if you have to give it away.
Thank you for your suggestions. I've been thinking about this and I've come up w/the following response:
Quote:
I will not tolerate you addressing me in this way. If you wish to discuss this issue further, you will need to treat me with dignity and respect. Unless you can communicate in the proper manner, we will not discuss anything.
How does this sound?
I ned to work on establishing boundaries w/her, so I'm wondering if this is the way to go.
I am curious, when she says "No wonder you drove us into financial oblivion", is she referring to the entire world's financial meltdown? If so, we can come up with a new catch phrase... "Robonomics".
Take an optimist approach and just say that you were ahead of the curve of everyone else on the way to financial oblivion. That means that you will be one of the first to rebound.
Oh Goody!! Does that mean I can blame my financial mess on Rob??? lol Believe me I know it was all ex and his failing to understand about bills, child support and alimony. The nail in the coffin was his filing B and dragging me along!!
I think the short and to the point e-mail is fine. If she starts the attitude again tell her that you will discuss things with her when she can take a more mature tone.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Rob, Take the high road, if you were offered $550, send her a check for half and do not discus it further. Stop giving her fuel for her fire. She could care less and it is ripping your heart out. To you that ring was a symbol of love, to her it was just a "mall ring". Just get what you can, send her half and say no more.
Or better yet, if you get a better deal, just send her the portion she is expecting and keep the rest. I would love to give her a piece of my mind but she probably wouldn't understand half of what I said!
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
I will not tolerate you addressing me in this way. If you wish to discuss this issue further, you will need to treat me with dignity and respect. Unless you can communicate in the proper manner, we will not discuss anything.
Each sentence is picking a fight. You choose how much of her garbage you accept... some, all or none. Just keep your correspondence to the bare facts.. no emotion, no justification.. simple.
As far as the ring goes.. Tell her you're willing to send her a check for $225 for the ring based on the offer you received but that you plan on researching it further. Her choice if she wants to take the money and run or wait it out.
And with texting the person who didn't show.. keep it to five words. Don't provide excuses for them or create apologies. That's their place, not yours.
