Hello, everyone, I have lurked on other's threads, but am still so stretched thin to relate my own status. I will try to give a brief update.
Originally Posted By: Donna...Found
Please, please tell me that you haven't said any of the above to him directly...
Not in so many words, Donna, but I wonder that my moods have influenced him despite my attempts to hide them. S8 has Asperger's, and thus he's supposed to have reduced capacity to empathize with the feelings of others -- but you would be hard pressed sometimes to prove that of him. He perceives so much more than "we" tend to give him credit for -- I think he just reacts to other people's emotions differently, not that he is unable to sense them at all.
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btw, your stbx cannot steal away your happiness, just as she couldn't be the one who "made" you happy.
No, I agree. Neither the WAS or anyone else can steal our joy unless we allow them to do so. I have allowed for too long, I know.
<journaling> Well, S8 had a great day on Saturday. He won third place in the district Pinewood Derby race! He has done a very admirable job for his first year entering. I am very proud of him and his accomplishment, and I and very happy he has this new sense of accomplishment and achievement.
I have to relate, though, a little story about STBXW. She was there at the event along with the hateful, snide MIL to support S8 in his latest competition.
Background: I have made it a point to stress to S8 that win or lose the most important thing to being a scout competing in this event was that he learned and practiced good sportsmanship. I coached S8 to understand that he needed to be a gracious participant in this sport regardless of whether he won or lost.
This is not an easy lesson to learn for any eight year old child.
During the competition S8 demonstrated a lot of maturity, but there was one incident that really reflected badly on us all. His mother, STBXW, had made her way over to where he was about to stage his car for the particular heat our S was about to run in. She got a bit too gung-ho with her cheers and her thumbs-up and the high-fives as S8 passed her on the way to the platform to compete. S8 hammed it up right along with her in response.
FYI: This was very, very poor form for a scout (or their parent) to act that way -- and went against my instructions to S8. I was taking pictures of the event at that moment and was only beginning to realize the faux paux taking place over at the platform. In fact, an older gentleman stepped out of the crowd and raised his voice to STBXW, saying, "You can't do that! That's wrong! Don't be doing that kind of stuff!" -- admonishing my STBXW and my S for these antics.
I was quite a bit embarrassed for them both, especially for STBXW. I am not sure that the significance of this had fully dawned on STBXW -- and I thought to myself that if she is really that insensitive then I not only no longer truly know her, I don't want to know her.
All in all though, the incident was quickly forgotten, and the competition went on to everyone's delight. On the drive home I took the opportunity to talk to S8 about this -- among all the other afterglow feelings -- and why this was so significant given the expressed values of all scouts. He seems to get it as I did not have to belabor my point at all. He really does make me proud.
