I finally get to be a cheerleader. (guess what I wanted to be way back about forty years ago)
A few months ago MBFF (who has talked to me since) said that she didn't think that love conquers everything anymore. I was shocked and thought how cynical she had become. Lately I was wondering about those words and realized that I was still uncertain about what to believe for myself. Usually something in the middle but I am getting too philosophical here - need Tawyna to translate and commiserate on that level.
SO2 - you are so right about attracting people who need someone to fix them and not only can we not meet the job qualification - they don't realize that it is their job not ours.
Be jealous - I earned the time to do these things after 55 years of raising my mother, my brother, my exh, my kids and my H. I HEARBY GIVE NOTICE.... just a joke... but I have spent the past 8 months thinking about being at a place where I don't have to take care of anyone anymore. I took over at 16 years old and haven't stopped since. It took me a long time to recognize what one of my college prof's told me way back when... that there had been a huge role reversal in my family and it all came down on me at a very early age. I bought into it then because it was necessary, I forget that it was her job to take care of herself and us back then. Or one of the relatives could have stepped up and no one did.
Anyway you asked about my kids, they have been supportive and quiet. They understand what having an A problem means, they understand his unresolved childhood issues, (seriously they do) they think he is immature, self centered, and needs help. They finally told me last week that they don't like how he treats me. They don't know that he is getting help, and they finally know that we aren't in contact with each other. After he moved out in July, they thought it was really nice to see him take me out for my birthday, and wondered if they needed to buy him present for Christmas. Other than that, they haven't asked anything and I stopped telling them. A week or so ago, my d asked how things were going and I said I didn't think they were so good and she said sorry. S is having his own problems but while talking last week he mentioned that it was a hard situation because it was obvious that I am happy when things are doing well, and unhappy when things aren't going well.
They both will make great diplomats someday. But I think they are in the midst of moving into the adult world and would like to just focus on that so I am letting them. Think it is the best thing I can do right now.
