Four weeks is too long. What was I thinking? After this two week period of going dark, I feel like I'm going to die. There are still a lot of 7-31s and 1-11s or 11-11s. It doesn't give me hope anymore or a feeling of peace. I know that God loves me and I am grateful. I just have lost 'hope'. I can't help it.
After a long, hard day of being up and day of physical labor, sadness envelopes me. If people think that being busy is the way to distract yourself, they are terribly wrong. He is everywhere popping up in my thoughts and feelings--at work, with friends, socializing, shopping, etc.
