1.) I took a shower. 2.) Made a masseuse appoint. 3.) Did laundry. 4.) Went out to get a mani/pedicure. 5.) Paid bills. (ick) 6.) Made plans with girlfriends for Saturday night. 7.) Friend reminded me that we were to go to Mall and take time to walk - exercise thing around the Mall. 8.) Emailed friend to make plans to get together next week in Boston. 9.) Having Chinese Shrimp & Vegetables for dinner.
I could tell you stories about what my girlfriends told me to do when A first left. You can imagine. I didn't follow their path, and now we are no longer friends.
Thanks for the motivation!!! Wish we lived closer. I'm in New England and your in the South.
I know you are right...moving myself through the quicksand when I have days off is a challenge.
Like I said before, dating other people when your heart is completely with someone else is mean to the other person on the date with you. I just can't go there. It sounds like you had a fabulous day actually. I love New England. If for some reason I'm up that way, I'll let you know. I'm from further north.....where the leaves change colors and there are FOUR real distinct seasons. I do miss that.
1.) so many challenging hurdles have happened these past few years...these past 6 months 2.) it's been a tough road to travel 3.) I believe that even though it doesn't seem that God is there for me, he is giving me a way to see that he is here...I just know 4.) although I have a lot of positive signs that encourage me, the road is still rocky 5.) in the midst of it all, I am grateful, and I am choosing to love, be patient, and be kind...I might not feel it sometimes, but I always try.
2.) my thots are always at these waiting periods: a.) 'A' won't call b.) why would he call? c.) what do I have to offer him? d.) he doesn't need anything from me anymore e.) he's happy with his life; why would he even think of me f.) on and on and on and on and on, etc.
'A' left me 2-1/2 years ago. He received his divorce 1-1/2 years ago. He started to talk to me last March. Since September, he started calling me about once every 3 weeks. He also visited me where I work. He invited me to his condo with another couple early January. He visited me where I work two weeks after that. The visits are about 10-15 minutes. About two weeks ago, I called and made plans to come and see him at the showroom where he works because I was in the neighborhood. He was friendly, but the showroom got very busy. It was a neutral to positive experience. Two weeks have gone by without a call from him. I'm going dark again.
I thought he would miss me more by now, but I don't know anymore. His life is probably so much bigger than his memory of me. Everybody thinks that I'm the happiest person. Busy or not, I miss my 'H'.
Four weeks is too long. What was I thinking? After this two week period of going dark, I feel like I'm going to die. There are still a lot of 7-31s and 1-11s or 11-11s. It doesn't give me hope anymore or a feeling of peace. I know that God loves me and I am grateful. I just have lost 'hope'. I can't help it.
After a long, hard day of being up and day of physical labor, sadness envelopes me. If people think that being busy is the way to distract yourself, they are terribly wrong. He is everywhere popping up in my thoughts and feelings--at work, with friends, socializing, shopping, etc.
Oh, JoJo, I feel for you. I am really proud of you though. You have to hang in there. I know you can do it. Just keep up with your GALing and stay positive.
Thanks, but GAling isn't the answer 'all' the time. Remember, there are 24 hours in a day. I have been doing this a very long time. Each day, I face the same uphill battle...over and over again.
I must have made some mistake. I must not have been confident enough. I must not have been successful enough or pretty enough or I must have tripped up some where along the way. I can't build on this with nothing to connect to...he builds and connects and bonds so easily with his friends. Being married must have been the 'end' of life for him. He is going places and doing things now that I would have loved to do with him. He told me when he left that we had 'nothing' in common. Hmmmm?
Oh my goodness. I don't really "know" you, but this is a strange place where amazing bonds can be made. With that, I do feel a bond with you. With that, SNAP OUT OF IT. HE made the mistake. Not you. He may be going places now, but you have to travel a road before you realize it's a dead end. Sometimes you can't see that far ahead and you make the mistake of going in the wrong direction. Give him time to figure it out, hit that dead end and do a U-Turn. The other thing I wish you wouldn't close yourself off to is the possibility of meeting new people....and I don't mean men, but new people, new friends. A new social life can help clear out the cob webs.
