It's been ages since I've been around. My first reaction is: go girl, you're in the driver's seat and that's where you belong.
My filter is the reality that I'm over my soon to be ex-h... I could never believe in him again. That 'believing' is about more than just trust, although trust is a part of it.
My ex simply stopped engaging in the m, he quit and I should have known it long before I did realize it.
What I've done is go back through what I know of his life. Yes, I've made some assessments of him; I don't think they are judgments but some of them are pretty harsh. He's just not a guy who's engaged that much in life... whether it be friends, family or career. It's not that he doesn't care about those things, he just doesn't sustain in the way that I need to admire and respect someone.
The one thing that bothers my ex right now? That my life is rich and full.. he recognizes that I am reaping what I have sowed... his words. And he wants that .. sure he has this woman, kind of, sort of,.. but it's all unclear, including him. And yup, I'm alone but I'm not lonely or unhappy.
So, does it make any sense for you to look at your exboyfriend as an entire package? And is that package what you want in your life. Does he really have it to keep reaching into himself to deal with whatever needs to be dealt with and keep at it?
I've often said that one thing that distinguishes people is not the problems that they face but how they deal with them. My ex just doesn't 'man-up' consistently enough (sorry guys, I love men, and a modified descriptor could be used for women).
In the final analysis I engage full-on ... in all sectors of my life... and I need to be with a man who gives to life (not just to our relationship) that way... no room for quitters, cowards, or people who are satisfied with half-lives.
You'll get to a place where you know whether this relationship can sustain you through a lifetime... until then, you're awesome, you're doing an amazing job living your own life fully.
