"I think you know the answer to your dilemma about separating the illness from the man. You can't, only he can."
Silva, It couldn't be better said - (sorry for the poor language structure) It hit a note with me that was amazing! It is incredibly simple as that! ONLY HE CAN SEPARATE THE TWO!!!!! I love it! Will keep reminding myself that it is his job - not mine to figure it out. What a load off me!!!!
The rest of what you said was awesome (a word I never use) but I am feeling it. These words came from a positive source and I appreciate you saying them. I also have to say that you hit me again with something so simple,
"It is who I am and it would not be right to be any other way." "Whether it hurts or not..."
I feel understood. I feel someone gets me. THANK YOU!
And so I will let him sort out his illness from who he is and I will continue to be myself wherever it takes me/us.
It was so not the response I was expecting from my last post. when I wrote it last night I was questioning my understanding of love vs dysfunctional pattern. Your words took it to another level that makes a lot more sense to me and is healing to my soul to hear it. THANKS SO MUCH!
This is so not DBing but, your wife is crazy! and you have been given a gift!