S&A: I don't think I am exaggerating about the shattered world in our current phase of family. Before I became pregnant, the world wouldn't have been shattered. As a matter of fact, I was on the road of enforcing my boundary then (until oops). When my son is a young adult and had his childhood with his Dad, the world wouldn't be shattered. I'm not saying that I won't end up in that shattered world, because a massive force is pushing me to continue this journey, but it would suck beyond sucking. I would need a ton of therapy to get through it. I am pretty sure that I would spend the rest of my life wondering if I did the right thing. On that ultimate shore, I might look at my son and hate myself for not giving him a better life.
I guess I'm still in such a mommy mode, I can't leap for passion "come what may" right now. I would bet that my feelings would be different in a few years if H chooses and decides in some ways rather than others.
I get your reasoning. We get one life and it's up to each individual to make it the best. I'm just doing what is "best" today, and fighting for a "best" tomorrow.
Thanks for your input, S&A. I read all of your posts to others on the board, and I have a ton of respect for you.
