Yes Puppy, I did address the situations when they occurred and yes I am VERY passive and the classic nice guy. I'm the type that doesn't want to go to bed angry; very forgiving I guess. Maybe I was just trying to honor the "For better or worst" aspect. I know I walked on eggshells a many of times picking my battles, but in the end I see that did not help because ultimately my M resides in this state of limbo. I was initially going to address the person at work, but how I felt at the time it more than likely would have led to something else because I felt so disrespected by both of them. Furthermore, I realized that he could only do what she let him do. I definately let that situation get out of control, there were so many times that I should have addressed him and her or both of them together. When I tried to set the boundaries with co-worker thing she would just get defensive. I knew that was not good. My W seems to have just been bent on doing her. Early in the separation, she actually told me that she let him know about our current situation, so they still talk; she still doesn't get it. Again, blatant disrespect/betrayal, and as much as I wanted to address it I avoided the conflict. Eggshells again. Not sure how or when she lost her respect for me, but it's definitely gone astray.
As far as the boundaries, at every juncture, I have asked and tried to communicate so that we would be on common ground, but again she has managed to keep everything wide open and subjective. There have been some changes at times since my 180 and LRT, but my W is a tit for tat kind of person, so whatever I do she will match or try to outdo. That's the sad part, but something is in the air I just don't want to put too much into it. Hopefully, I will be able to update what has transpired this past week later on tonight
