Jayce's thread

[Jayce]

Thanks, Diane. Some days it seems bad, others not so much. I vent here when I'm down. Or banging my head on the wall cuz of H's poor/reluctant communication. I win some, lose some. Last weekend wasn't good. This past weekend was OK. 3 more weeks & we're in Mexico. I can hardly wait! We'll be WARM for a week.

You & I share two problems. Our husbands aren't real good communicators and we'd like to have -um- the sex lives of our dreams? LOL Or at least something we can describe as "regular" and "satisfying". Also, both our guys have some pretty significant baggage from their pasts. Not our problem so we can't fix it.

I don't think I can "fix" myself into becoming LD. I'm not sure my H can "fix" himself into being "a little more than LD". I see a little "fix" in communicating. Clumsy sometimes, but occasionally I hear something illuminating or good. Better than it was last year, that's for sure.

Last fall & once this winter I've said that about the strength. He said "I know that" both times. I think he tries not to be so angry & obstinate most of the time, but he has only so many tools in his bag. If he can't do the intimidation thing he learned from mamma he doesn't have anywhere else to go. He needs to "use his words" but he's never had that habit & can't come up with the words he wants to use quickly. Of course, if he'd do that way before he gets me upset, he'd have time to choose words he needs to express himself. Even think of what he wants to say - radical!

It probably bugs him that on some level he knows what I'm getting at is rational & reasonable. But he's afraid to change, afraid of failure, stubborn, not having control. That one book that encourages the guy to stop listening to his internal little boy & become the man he wants to be is relevant here. (Little joke: "No, honey, you won't really go blind & it won't fall off if you use it too much").

If you have time, follow Cinco's thread back till you get to the stick drawing, then go back a little farther to see what its about. Funny. Pretty cool, too.
Jayce