-The decision to reconcile (or not) should be made from a position of control and maturity - not desperation. If you allow him back into your life, do it because it is the right decision for you. If you decide to move on and start dating again at some point, do it because you are ready for a relationship and not because you want to “prove something" to your ex or to your well-meaning friends/family who want you to move on asap.
mlh, Thank you for the great tips. I think this last one is especially important as I have started to already experience and see the results of some of the other things you have mentioned. (especially about how I cannot do anything to change his mind) I have to remember that everything I do, every decision I make needs to be based on me, and not what others want.
As funny as it sounds, I feel ready to face this D. Ill still have ups and downs, but I am trying hard to accept the fact that this will actually happen and I have started preparing for MY future. Ive always been so busy catering to H and our M, I forgot all about me.
And about dating: I have learned my lesson there and will take my time. My H is the product of a rebound. (when I met him I had just got out of a 6 yr R) and I rushed into marrying him and now see that I never really got a chance to get to know him. I was so heartbroken about my break up I thought being with someone else would solve that and well, now I see I was wrong! But now I know what to do
