My first step out of Newcomers

[Can it work]

I had my first session with a DB coach tonight and I'm feeling a lot better for it. She gave me some really good advice and gave me answers to a lot of questions I had.

It turns out that she thinks my W is being so cold with me because she doesn't want me to get the wrong idea and basically become a lapdog any time I get some positive attention from her. I can see how that could be an issue. To be honest I suppose I'm still at the point where I would take great pleasure in any kind of positive response from my W so it makes perfect sense.

The other big thing the DB coach told me is that I'm still pursuing to a certain extent even though I never thought I was. I was trying to act 'as if' around my W by acting happy and trying to engage in small talk. I'm now supposed to stop that and pretty much turn the tables on my W. I'm not be rude but have to keep conversation with her to an absolute minimum. When I'm in her presence I have to address most of my conversation to Wee Man. I have to go past her house tomorrow night to pick him up so I'll do exactly as I've been advised then.

My next session is supposed to be in about a week so I'm looking forward to that. I can't believe how fast the time flies when you're getting such great advice. I wish I could have talked to her for hours. Tonight was mainly for her to get a feel of my R so I'm hoping next week we can really begin tackling some of my greater issues.

I also think I've realised what has caused my recent slump in mood. I've recently started taking medication that the doctor prescribed to me for a completely unrelated condition and when reading through the notes that came with it saw that this particular drug could cause depression in some cases and is even feared to be the cause of suicide in some rare cases. Stopping taking this medication right now is not an option but I'm glad that I think I may have found a reason I'm feeling down. In a funny way, this realisation has made me feel less down if that makes any sense. At least if I know what's causing it, I can deal with it.

So, in all, things are looking up at this point in time. I have an action plan to work on and the support that I've been so lacking in from home. As much as I love all the help and support that I've been getting on this site, it's great to be able to finally talk to someone on the phone who is supportive of my struggle to win back my marriage. Watch this space for progress......

Kev