This...I don't get from her. OK: She feels you are now her best friend, you guys go out together and have a ball, you guys do the wango-tango on a regular basis, she feels closer to you than ever and comfortable in her home with you.
WTH is missing here? What else is she looking for? I don't get it.
Please continue!...I'm intrigued...
Maybe just more time, like everyone keeps telling me..maybe she just doesn't feel like the feeling she thinks she needs to have will ever come back...maybe she tries hard not to let them. She has maintained all along that she would not put herself in a position of trusting me again because I let her down in the past...and the time before this was my last chance.
Then she goes and admits that we have become closer and feels like we are best friends now...so like you asked WTH??
Anyway...the rest of the conversation that night.
There was not much more...her surprise at me saying that I was not sure that I could stay friends with her. Honestly..I relented slightly on that and told her she will be always be my friend, but did think she was looking at it unrealistically. That from the beginning I thought she had a fantasy divorce scenario in her mind that would probably never be.
Maybe I believe that..maybe I was trying to hurt her..I don't know. I'm not so sure after all this time if hearing her say we were best friends, and her being surprised about the best friends comment made me feel like progress has been made...or makes me think she is more screwed up than I ever thought..LOL.
I do think she felt some conflict from me saying that I was unsure about remaining so close, yet "trying so hard"(her words) to make things right this past year.
I asked her about the last few weeks and how I felt her trying to pull away and she admitted she had been. She said that still comes from not wanting to get my hopes up and me telling her I don't need the reminder talks....like she needs to back off and not be so close so I back off.
There was more, I guess..but it's not as clear as it was...most of it was just a rehash of previous ones, and it just ended with basically...oh well..guess we aren't going to change things..rush things...end it tomorrow..or hate each other....each of us literally laughing and throwing our hands up in the air and getting up from the table.
We had drank a few beers, but we weren't drunk by a long shot. We went in to watch TV....I sat on one side of the room and she the other....I chuckle to myself as I write this. I looked over at her and asked what she was doing over there and patted the seat cushion next to me on the couch.....dim lights...close curtains..romantic music plays....LOL. Is this the strangest sitch ever, or what??
That was Friday...Saturday we both had to work and I asked her in the morning if she had plans for that night....she said she wanted to stay home and make dinner. I asked if she wanted to go shopping for the weekend groceries after work at a little market we like about a 1/2 hr away....she said sure.
When the time came she said she didn't feel like grocery shopping, but still wanted to go get a couple of movies and hang out at home....so we headed to the same town we planned on and bought a few new movies.
We need new cell phones and she has been bugging me about it...I avoid the subject because of the plan sitch...are we going to split it now or stay on the same one.
While we were there the subject came up and I asked about the plans...family or separate? She said it would probably make sense to split it off now, but it doesn't really matter. I said, we own a house together, I can't see the issue with the cell phones, especially if it saves a few bucks.
She agreed, but said it would be nice if there was something that was just hers..in her name...her own. I left it completely up to her and she decided we would just leave it as a family plan and start a new 2 yr contract with new phones...OK.
On the way home we stopped at a little Mexican place we like, had a margarita and some appetizers...chatted, played with our new phones. Went home and popped in one of the new movies and fell asleep in the living room....woke up at 3am and went to bed.
Sunday we slept in...puttered around the house and I went shopping for dinner while she did some housework. We went for a little ride in the Mustang and enjoyed the sunshine and warm day...came home, made dinner together, while we had some margaritas...home made this time.
We had a fun, close...almost silly day...she was in one of those moods where she was poking and pinching and being a little goofy. At the end of the evening we once again doing the "wango tango"...as Peace says...that's funny....and she fell asleep in my arms.
