[Thinker]

I believe it. No matter how "detached" you are, living in a state where you are continuously getting rejected by someone you still love (or anyone for that matter) is painful.

I haven't been at this for nearly as long as you have, but I see it myself - my W gushes love to our kids and positively bubbles when she is talking to a friend on the phone, but immediately turns sober and distracted when she is with me.

go ahead and have that party - and then get out of the house for a while.