Yoyo's Playhouse

[hope3343]

Hi Yoyo, as promised here is an example of Plan B letters. let me know if you want to talk about this.

Plan B letter is a business type letter. Not a mushy last chance to beg for WS to come back, I'm here waiting for you, letter. You tell them three things. Why going NC. What is NC. How WS can end NC. Below is an example.


Plan B example 1
I can no longer let you and the OM continue to disrespect me. To remove the pain caused by your affair and to stop you from disrespecting me I am going No Contact with you.

While in NC there will be no form of direct communication. All contact will be through "your third party". He will only inform me as to the nature of your request and what action you are requesting.

I will not accept phone calls, mail, email, IM, or any other form of direct contact while you are in your affair.

I will be open to direct communication once you, WS goes NC with the OM. WW, you move back home with your parents. You are willing to live transparent so NC can be verified by me, BH.


The next example is what I sent to H, more detail but letting him know the door is open..for now.

Dear WS

I have decided to no longer call you, contact you or e-mail you because I was beginning to hate you and by detaching I could still protect what love I have left for you in my heart.

I think about how we spent the best years of our lives together giving birth to our D15 and raising D28. The girls drove us crazy but we were always close to one another. We were a family. Neither of us can share that with anyone again. It was and will always be special. I will always be thankful for those times.

You know that I am sorry for my part in our marriage that created the atmosphere that helped to make your affair possible.

I never realized the devastation that the affair caused and how quickly it took you away from us and continues with you wanting this divorce. I never got a fighting chance for our family. That is my biggest regret because I have seen the horrible impact and pain it has been for our little family.

I want you to know that I still am willing to create a new life for us and our family but obviously cannot till you end the affair with plastic pinata (used real name!).

I love you more than anything and the door back to my heart and our family is open but only if agree to have no contact with her ever again.

If we both truly worked at our marriage it would be the way it should be and I know that D15 and D28 would still be happy for us to take that positive step. Others have survived this and much worse.

I don’t want you to think by giving you this letter that “I have not moved on”. I have everyday.

I want this letter to be a roadmap home in case you decide the choice or path you made ends up not being what you thought or wanted.

We have been thinking about you with Saturday coming up. (It was VD day) We will miss our “Griswold” family dinners and still remember how you would bring flowers not only to me but always to “your girls” every year. We do remember.

No matter what I will always continue to try and make a happy home for our daughters in spite of our loss.

I love you true. Your wife
I left it on his desk when he was not there. Since that time, H has approached me 2x at work and made conversation which I talked briefly and walked away. He also asked SIL and D28 about me which he was told "that we do not talk about you because I do not want him mentioned". Has it done any good? I don't know but it has taken away his drama about me and also kept my sanity.