So, hubby is gone now, for 2 months and all I can say is thank God! Not a good thought in my opinion, but I feel that way.
This will more then likely be all over the place as many things happened and didn't happen.
Firstly, no, no ML in this trip home. I am not surprised as I'm sure even if he wanted too, he's to afraid to initiate at this point. And I wasn't willing to initiate. I guess you could say I am emotionally spent! I didn't feel the need to, nor did I want to. Maybe it was an immature response on my part. Sorta saying, I'm done being the one who works. Who knows, all I know is nothing happened in that department.
we talked a few times which turned out to be not good, to I'm not sure. At one point I asked where he was in the book. He said he was almost done. ( hmmmmmmmmmmmm, ) I then asked if he wanted to talk about anything or did anything grab him in the book. He then says this >>> " He is HATES that I am some1 who seems to go head first into arguments...... OR that I will fight for what I believe in. SO, hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm THIS is what he got out of the Sexless marriage book???? He said there was a part that tells you not to hold things in. This then lead to 2 days of me trying to figure out what he meant. Because he said he of course had no examples. I then went to him and basically explained myself. In retrospect, I don't think what he said was a fare statement. I also think he doesn't either, but didn't know how to take it back or talk it out.
He sees everything as an argument. Which he avoids like mad. Puts his head in the sand really. Which is sad for him I think. He is coasting thru life.
At another time we talked. I asked what he was getting out of this marriage , he said > Nothing now......... I then asked what he wanted, and he said Nothing! OK, I have nothing to work with here do I??
Where am I, or where are we now? No clue. I had asked him to decide what he wanted. DOES he want to work together or not......... He basically said he doesn't want a marriage that has sex in it, then says in the same breath > There you made me say it. As if I'm the one who made him do it. It was all very frustrating and confusing. I left at that point. Never tried to talk again, just acted normal and 2 days later he left. Gave me a big hug and left. So, hes Im sure thinking everything is fine.
He's a grown man. He told you his truth (no matter how uncomfortable for you to hear).
Where does that leave YOU? What do you WANT? What do you need to do to fulfil YOUR desires?
S&A
"A man can be destroyed but not defeated" - from The Old Man and the Sea, by Ernest Hemingway.
Which I take to mean that every man has within him a spirit of relentlessness and optimism. Its already there; he just has to cultivate it.
