I think this limbo land i am in is unhealthy. I do not communicate really anymore with H. How can this possibly turn around? If you are not available at any emotional level where do we go from here?
I remain in NC for the most part. I saw H the other day. He was angry and was yelling at me over something that back fired on him. He truely believes everything is my fault and I can just tell it is OW influence over him.
Well for his sake I hope she is right with all her advice otherwise he stands to lose a lot more than assets and money in the near future. He stands to lose his greatest prize of all and that is his kids! So far his actions would indicate that OW is following her best interest and not his ! Whats the term ... oh thats right ' Gold digger '
{{{Polly}}} thankfully he doesn't any more..I am so relieved and feel such a great weight lifted off now that he is gone that I could not have believed!! But he did until 2 weeks ago...
It's stuff like your last post that shows me how good NC is really because you don't deserve to be yelled at about crap like that..no one does..and your hub needs to take responsibility for his actions and I'm glad you are standing strong in your own actions my friend
Tawnya
Me:39 H:40 D18/S12 M20/T21 Bomb 10/11/08 One Two Three Four
I wonder if it is possible to go through life - never saying sorry because you believe it is everyone elses fault.
It is amazing how you can step back in these situations and see that , that is how H has lived all his life. I cn count on one hand how many sorrys i have heard H say sorry in 30 years. Never thought about it before .
I am begining to think I lived with a crazy person. Surely at some point in your life you have to take resonsibility ?
So silence since Monday. The NC on my part is very helpful to my sanity but seems to of driven h further away. i guess it is because i dont defend myself or allow him to question anything so therefore he believes everything OW tells him.
they say patience patience patience.........
So not much to report. This all must come to a head soon !
A week of no contact at all now . He also has not seen his kids for weeks. Last time I saw H h was angry at me for all the wrong reasons. Well in fact I have given him no reasons.
I never bite back or discuss anything of importance with him . I am absolutely silent and appear unaffected by anything he does.
Is this wrong. Should I be making more of an effort, should I take the other path and go find a new partner ? I will say that in the meantime I have made plans for holidays and nights out. I am not just sitting around physically waiting but i am still emotionally attached and as hard as I try I just cant let go of that last bit of rope.
I constantly think of
1.What our kids stand to lose in having divorced parents 2.What are futures will be like without each other. We have spent 20 hard years building towards our next 30 years. This will all go.
Okay i need serious advice.H has not contacted the kids for weeks. They pleaded with him to give them more contact a while ago but without OW. his response has been silence.
Do i intervene for my kids sake and ring h and ask what he is playing at where the kids are concerned ? They are late teenagers .
I have no idea how this will end for the kids. I could ring H councillor and take my kids to see her or for her to intervene !
If the kids are old enough I would have them contact him. You could also call his counslor. The kids are affected by all of this more than the H realizes. They didn't do anything and should not be punished or brushed off.
Keep up the good work with going dark. I know this just all sucks so bad. Is it really to much to just want to be happy.
H-41 (alcoholic) Me-38 D-13 SD-10 T-6yrs M-4.75yrs Bomb-10/4/08 Moved in w/OW 11-13-08
But he did until 2 weeks ago...