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Thank you puppy dog and mt everyone.

He said he will text me, I'm just going to tell him to leave me for a week or so.

I don't know if I've always felt this or if it's me mixed up but he is a coward. Always running. Spineless and blaming but himself. Should have know better.


thanks again all


H 36 2nd marriage
me 32 1st marriage
no kids

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Originally Posted By: Regrets
Thank you puppy dog and mt everyone.

He said he will text me, I'm just going to tell him to leave me for a week or so.


When he texts you, don't answer him at all for one day. When you finally do, say "I have some decisions to make; I'll be back in touch soon. (Your first name)".

Puppy

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He is typical text book affair having H.

This is one of those times when
'you dont strike while the iron is hot '

Give yourself time to calm down - meds are good. Give H a chance to reflect on whats happened - let the adrenalin stop flowing in him. He will also be panicing.

There is no rush right now. No one is going anywhere. I think a week no contact might be good.

These will be the worse few days of shock. Just breathe a bit

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Puppy is sooooo right in the wait a day and what your response should be for now. As well as him saying it isn't the time to make any decisions. Too many of us make a decision in the heat of the moment that may not be the right one at the time.

This could be MLC, depression, or simply A. Or not, or all three. Just don't know. Either way there is confusion involved. That is his. You need to deal with YOUR feelings right now and not worry about his. Take some time, take some meds, continue the counseling it may help with the anger, and just take your time.

Going dark right now is probably the best thing you could do for you. You need time to work through your shock and anger and you might say something you really regret if you try to talk to him right now.


If you focus on the past, you ruin the future. You can only live for today.
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You are all very right. I'm more angry that he allowed me to get upeset and actually said to counsellor no affair, I was thinking the worst and didn't understand him

DON'T CARE much about O/W for some reason. Don't want either of them thibking they are worth it. Dark for a week. He will need stuff though, bet he sends his mum.

Ha, he'll think he is getting in on wed but snib snib.

will i just tell him to leave me for a week if he texts? or ignore?


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Regrets, as I said above, "When he texts you, don't answer him at all for one day. When you finally do, say "I have some decisions to make; I'll be back in touch soon. (Your first name)".

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ok thanks

Talking myself out of calling her work, his old work and telling the managers what she is saying about the place.

What would I gain - feel better for an hour or so
They would think I'm crazy
MIL would think I'm nasty
She would get sacked - has a small daughter
Put some other spouse through all this

Friend keeps telling me to do it but I would be embarrassed confronting her at work. plus I can't fight and she may beat me up :-)

Why am I caring about her all of a sudden. It's him that should have stopped. Both of them.

I'm ao hurt that he has treated me so badly past few weeks, I think he wanted me to find out myself. He fell asleep with the phone in his hand.

What does he mean it's not like that? Some sort of cosmic coming together.

Is there any point DB when he seems infactuated or in love with her.

Why is he still denying sex with her, why is he saying it's not like that all the time

Last edited by Regrets; 03/10/09 06:14 AM.

H 36 2nd marriage
me 32 1st marriage
no kids

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Posts: 224
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Goal for today

do not respond to text messages.

if no text from him, do not respond tomorrow


H 36 2nd marriage
me 32 1st marriage
no kids

Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 224
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Do you think he sees it as weakness that I'm going to counselling?


H 36 2nd marriage
me 32 1st marriage
no kids

Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 224
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right he texed to say think we should go to counselling tomorrow. now i'm supposed to be dark but really I think we should.

ohhhhh will i just say thats fine see you there


H 36 2nd marriage
me 32 1st marriage
no kids

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