I don't think you should worry about what you did or didn't do. Sometimes you have to do what feels right at the time.

Quite honestly, I was only sharing what I would have done. That doesn't mean it's appropriate for every single person and in every situation. Also, what works for one person isn't going to work for everyone.

I know for me, I have a history of reacting strongly to situations and then later regretting my reactions. So learning to not to be so angry and reactive has been very empowering for me. Especially being able to do it in a very intense situation.

Also, in my own situation, I noticed the more I expressed anger and outrage at my husband about the situation with OW, the more it seemed to bring them closer together. Not that it would have happened that way on it's own, but it definitely made it easier for my husband to leave.

Of course, not everyone is going to have the same reaction. You really have to look closely at your own individual situation and the people involved. Like motivations.

There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.