Hey Maria, I am so sorry that he was so obstinate and rude and gave you nothing, seriously, I'm sorry.. I wasnt expecting him to be like that, I knew you were going to ask him but I thought he would at least consider talking to you with the C on Saturday.
I am not Ali. I am not. I have the urge to go to his work and break everything in my way. WHY would a person come back to hurt me again, so much? Needless pain, WHY!!!! Why am I still so soft and not as I should be by now? How can anyone hear the woman he says he loves break down, be so torn and still stand for him and us and NOT do a single thing? WHY??????????????????
WHY dont the kids matter to him? How come he is so different than I thought he was? What did I do to deserve this? WHAT? What did I do to hurt him? What have I done 2 years now other than try and fight for us? Why go through this twice? Once was enough...
I'm so sorry about your H. He seems to have nothing of a strong man about him and I have no hope of being able to understand him. Ever.
I'd like to say something very insightful at this stage but all I can think of is that things will seem better tomorrow, and better day by day after that. Yu're not soft- you're hard, as we'd say in London. "Well 'ard!"
(((((Kalni))))) I feel your pain. I would feel/react the same way if my H told me he was still friends with OW. In fact, I HAVE reacted as you did when I found out H was still in contact with OW. I know that I cannot handle that, especially while trying to reestablish trust and rebuild the M. For me it is a deal breaker so I understand how you may feel.
Me47 H46 S13 M16 Piecing since May/09
"Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it." Lou Holtz
I understand what you are saying. I don't think he ever came back with the intention of hurting you. I think he thought that you would be ok if things went back to how they were before. he was prepared for that. He wasn't prepared for a W who actually wanted to be married. A "Passionate Marriage", to steal a book title, You are not asking for anything that you should not ask for. And if he chooses not to give that, it is his choice. And it is you choice not to accect that. I don't think there is anything wrong with this picture.
K, I'm so sorry. Even IF H believes this OW had no A with him, if he cared for you enough he'd drop her like a dead rock just because you need him to. This is hard to take even after I've read so much trash on this board. Like the others I'm confounded.
Finally, the truth. How long have you been asking for just that? It is better to accept that you will be a divorced mother than to accept that you will be an ignored wife and your husband has a lover on the side.
