Well, at least your H recognized that he "didn't talk." After his mother died, mine just said he had nothing to talk about, or that there was something wrong with me so that he couldn't talk to me--it's taken until now for him to recognize that he's always buried the issues he really needed to discuss. In his case, I think part of it was that his mom would pry for information, and then broadcast it (she did like her drama!), so he felt he needed to maintain some privacy from her. It really hurt, though, that he was unconsciously punishing me for his mother's behaviour!! And then, what did he seek out in an OW? Someone who thrived on drama, and was energized by the mixture of guilt and adoration he felt towards her.
Like yours, my H insisted everything was fine in our relationship and he loved me and our life together ... yet all the while I could feel him slipping further and further away. I think the problem is that the beginning MLCer feels such a sense of unhappiness with his life. At first he recognizes it's nothing to do with his marriage, yet as time passes and he feels more miserable (and critical and blaming), he decides that's what it must be. Then it takes such an excruciatingly long time before he accepts that the problem was never the marriage, but himself. This isn't to say that our marriage was perfect. I know that we both let past issues negatively affect our behaviour, and at the bomb I identified a number of ways I knew I needed to change myself and any relationship I was in. But, as you say, if only we could have talked about improving our relationship, instead of H unilaterally deciding to give up on me in favour of OW.
I'm sorry you lost your brother; that must have been very hard especially as he was still so young. It's interesting what you say about his daughters, because my other child is just like his other daughter: more physically affectionate than I could imagine possible in a pre-teen boy! (Did she take after her mother?) And it's very reassuring that it shouldn't affect D's relationships.
You know, your H will definitely find being with a more affectionate person irritating after a while. My H admitted--before counselling, even--that he liked the fact his evenings with the EA were relatively short, or he'd have tired of her a lot faster. In his case, he was attracted by her extreme lack of affection, which later he saw as her greatest flaw.
My weekend was good, and I hope yours was as well. Are you feeling more like yourself, the longer you live alone? Are you reconnecting with the things you used to enjoy? Or is it still too raw....?
