Lots of good discussion and things to think about. You sound good, Hope. Stay positive and strong.
I think giving your wife time is a good plan, and considering financially it wouldn't help you NOT to give her time, then there ya go. Getting through infidelity in a marriage takes an enormous amount of energy, work, and time; and many do not realize this. If you are committed to your marriage and your family, you can do this. It WILl get better and better. There will be more and more issues to get through. I think when you both get past the "if he/she doesn't do/say this, I'm outta here," you both will progress with time. You DO have to have that relationship talk, though, and she does need to show you that she is working on the things you need her to help you with.
I know about the hand holding thing you were talking about with your wife. Those are those walls, Hope. I still find myself doing it at times with my H. My first instinct is to pull back....I don't want to get hurt....my wall protects me. I pull back. H holds me longer and allows me to melt a bit. Slowly we get better. Slowly, I trust that he loves me. Slowly, I trust that our marriage won't go back to the way it was. Time.
I see why you are not going to call while on your trip. I guess I just see that as so confusing. But, I guess if she isn't contacting you either.....I don't know.....She should be contacting you, and you should be contacting her at this point.
Also, with something going on right now...the secretive logging out of the laptop, etc. I would be concerned leaving her alone. But, I'm paranoid and think I jump to conclusions fast these days....What about having SOME kind of talk...nothing ultimatum-like, but a discussion about how things have been going so far, etc. At least she has that to think about before you leave. ?????
