WAW New life with OM

[Phoenixdeux]

Told you so. This financial thing was going to bite you in the butt. You need to have child support set up and ASAP.

[ppenton]

You were right
Should have known better but still learning, THANKS!!

[runningoutoftime]

Yikes!!! I'm off dealing with a broken water heater and come back today to read about your wife changing her account.

I'm glad to hear you are talking with a lawyer, and starting to read and research books on divorce. This will help you be more prepared if necessary.

You've mentioned that on your income alone you wouldn't be able to keep the house, if things get financially tight, do you have an extra room that you might be able to rent out? I know that's something I considered.

Although I was prepared to sell the house once the divorce was final. In a way I looked forward to it because I wanted to let go of the memories and get a place that would be all my own (even paint the master bathroom pink and make it super girly!!!).

[MrNiceGuy]

she isn't even going to look at you as long as she's with OM. For the moment, consider that she doesn't care what you do. She thinks she's all kinds of happy

Thanks P2 for the comment above. I'm in a similar situation where I am now in an apartment for the past week and W has already started putting away all house photos that include me.

It's REALLY hard to see that, and knowing that she has a 'friend' who is supposedly god-like handsome.

I'm do the GAL, and am upbeat every time we meet to trade our son, but she's looking exhausted and the photo-hiding thing seems a little bit passive-aggressive.

[ppenton]

No, extra room and I really didn't want to move out as my kids love their schools and friends. I could move in with my parents which would put them into another school district but I'll worry about that when the time comes. My W is still in la-la land as she still wants to be best friends and misses talking with me. In my heart, i miss her very much but I know not to talk R with her as she has not mentioned OR or M for a long time. So, I'll be civil to her and wait for her to decide when she wants to talk about R. Like I said I am gathering information about lawyers and learning about the divorce process.

[runningoutoftime]

Yes, definitely avoid the R talk. Until she's ended it with OM there is no R.

I think it's positive she expresses missing you. If she contacts you just be a great listener, ask lots of impersonal and upbeat questions (like you would a stranger you met), don't talk about yourself (your life needs to be somewhat a mystery), don't try to "fix" her problems, and make sure she can't help but leave the conversation thinking what a great guy you are to talk to. If she says anything that upsets you just say, that you have something you you need to do and must get going.

Also, the reason for not calling her back... You are just so busy! And life is good!!!

I'm glad to hear you have your parent's home as an option. It's nice to have emergency plans just in case.

Is there any chance you might be able to keep the kids in the same school if you have to move? I know sometimes one can get an interdistrict transfer. Is your W at least living in the district? Maybe you can use her address... Just some ideas to consider...

[ppenton]

Well, I downloaded and started reading "No More Mr Nice Guy", wow I fit into many of the categories listed in the first chapter. I can't wait to work on the exercises as I can work on some of my goals.
Did talk with W, she was happy to hear my voice but I just asked her about the kids. S13 needs a physical to tryout for the track team and she told me I needed to pick up S15 from school after his baseball practice. She told me I did a good job cleaning the kids room (they helped) and I said thanks!
Tonight I baked a cake for a friend's birthday and we spent time talking and catching up.

[runningoutoftime]

Out of curiosity, I just looked at the website for that book and it looks really good. Good luck to you with working on that. It sounds like you recognize some things you want to change in yourself, and are already on a road of self-improvement. Keep up the 180s!!! We'll make a Clint Eastwood dude out of you yet!!! (Hee hee!!! Just kidding...). What kind of cake did you make? Sounds like you had a great evening.

[ppenton]

I read the first chapter and it described me perfectly (well almost), I have already read DR and Hang on to Your N.U.T.S. Both have helped me to set some goals which my therapists is happy for me.

I made a home chocolate cake which everyone enjoyed!

BTW: I love Clint Eastwood movies!!

Today I'm doing ok even though it's been raining all day. I guess I'll have to go to the gym as its too crappy to walk outside. Tonight my parents will come over with dinner and we will play games with the kids. My mom is worried that NMMNG means I'll be a jerk but I told her not to worry.

[runningoutoftime]

It sounds like you have great family and friends. That helps!!

Well.... I don't think NMMNG means you'll be a jerk. I don't think we can change ourselves that much, but I think it can help move a person into a "middle ground." You will probably always be a "nice guy" to a point, but this may help you reach another level where you are learning to set some limits, do a little more for you, speak out more when you perceive a need to, not go so far to try and please people, not allow yourself to be taken advantage of, etc... I see it as a growth thing.

Yes, Clint Eastwood is the coolest! Even now that he's ancient he's still totally HOT!!!

Have a great time tonight!