Weekend was alright. Spent time with my boys. W decided to 'allow' me to see D(1) at a park for 30 minutes. Temporary Custody hearing is Wednesday, and I think I've prepared about as well as I can prepare. Several pretty obvious lies she has made, and I have the documentation to disprove.
Also have been thinking... each day I detach more and more from W... I'm not sure if there is going to be any going back at this point - or if she's worth going back to. I'm willing to say our marriage was ripe for an A, there were issues that needed to be worked on - but that still doesn't excuse it.
I fully anticipate at some point she will crash and realize OM is against every single core value she has ever discussed wanting for her life. Every since I've known her, it was husband + house + kids = happy. Once she got what she wanted, it seemed to take its toll on her, and since I was her first 'real' relationship she sort of hasn't known how to respond to problems.
I've been married once before, and it is definitely hard to adjust to someone. For me it was easier the second time, but for her she basically did great until D(1) came along and her dad died.
So yes, there is that part of me that is understanding and compassionate. There is also the part of me that feels my relationship with D(1) threatened which is prepared to go ruthless, for the throat, etc. (legally speaking). I've been amazed at all the ammunition I've got, mostly testimony I'd have to give, but also documentation, audio, video, and other things which make my case that much stronger.
Either she'll begin to consider things when things get 'real' in the D, or she'll continue her fantasy. Part of me thinks her fighting for custody is more her mom's doing than anything, she seems to be led along and has no focus for the future. My W is an easily led person, which I suppose makes it hard for me to make any sort of headway when I'm on the outs.
So... detaching, LRT, GAL, etc. seems to be going fine. I feel better, W seems more unsure of herself and isn't quite as flagrant with her text messaging, etc. I think her quality time with OM has been drastically lessened outside of phone/text chat because mil/bil for all their circling the wagons they do know I have *something* on her and aren't wanting me to get more.
The time I've spent around her she's been polite, as have I. We haven't had any R talks, but we have discussed C for the purpose of "communicating" with each other. Not sure how best to go about that. She hasn't seemed interested in staying M, but she doesn't seem like she has much conviction when she discusses the D. She says she definitely wants it - but she just seems guilty/unsure/whatever in her body language.
Me? I'm going to be the best guy I can be. Going to work on moving on in my life, and if she follows so be it. But I'm not dependent on her for what I'm going to do.
"You can't reason someone out of a position they didn't reason themselves into."
