Just missing you guys a little!

[Amy M]

Well, Tawnya and I have had a great weekend. We've eaten with no regard to caloric content, we've shopped with no apparent regard for my bank account balance, we've relaxed on the beach and basked in the sunshine, we've watched a movie, and we've talked and talked and talked! It's been really fun and very therapeutic for us both. Next time, you all should come!!! And, I'll be sad to see her leave tomorrow. Thank goodness for the FB connection.

I had an interesting convo with H this morning when he brought the boys clothes home. It started that I wanted to share with him something that happened with me last week that gave me a little insight into some of the things that had happened to him over the past three years. I worry that he feels so guilty that he can't imagine how I might forgive him. My intent was not to change our course, but maybe to pave the road for friendship in the future.

At any rate, I said what I wanted to say and somehow we went from there to his revealing that the OW has purchased a boat (that she can't drive) since he may have to get rid of ours because of the expense associated with it and that she's bought a house on the water. So, essentially, she's bought him everything he's ever wanted! And, as soon as the D is final, he'll be moving into that house with her.

The most incredible part is that they've been attending church together. He still claims he doesn't know if he loves her, and that he has no intention of marrying her! I didn't even know what to say!

I told him that I hoped they both found what they were searching for, and that I hoped that the example he was setting my boys was something he would continue to keep at the forefront of his decision making process! He said it was, and he assured me he was doing "right by the boys!"

I have to say, it felt like a punch in the gut at first!!! I told a great friend of mine last week that I dreaded her being a part of the kids' lives because I felt like H had stolen time with them from me and that I didn't want him sharing that stolen time with someone else...especially not her!

But, after I got a chance to talk it over with Tawnya, I feel a little better. At least now I know for sure it's coming. I won't be surprised like I was about the movie trip. At least at some level he's looking for God, and, as Tawnya so wisely reminded me...I'm glad I'm not that person anymore (the one who is so insecure that she has to buy things to keep him around even though he may not love her)!

So, I'm gonna be okay about this too! In fact, I thought about stalling the D process just to keep it from happening right away. But, instead, I'm gonna expedite. I can't save him from this disaster. I can't save the boys either! But, God can protect them, and He will take care of them as He sees fit!!

I've made some plans to run in Nashville at the end of April. I won't be ready, but, it will be a fun girls' trip to replace the other fun trip I had planned next month that fell through. So, that's my next big GAL! I did have to smile to myself a little last night. I was texting a couple of girlfriends off and on yesterday. One of my friends met us at the beach yesterday and another stopped by last night to drop something off. Tawnya's daughter's friend said to me..."you have a lot of friends.". And, I do!!! God's blessed me with lots and lots! I'm so thankful for them when I have tough days like a few I had last week and the one I could have had today!!

Thanks to all of you here for all your support!!!

Love you all!
Amy