Puppy has given you some very good advice but one thing he has not said which surprises me is that you marriage DOES NOT have to be over because of this.
This was why, in my very first post to Regrets, I asked her "would this be a dealbreaker for you?" For different people, their boundaries are different, and only she can answer that for herself, so I typically just ASK, up front.
Maybe I was unclear, so let me state for the record:
YOUR MARRIAGE DOES NOT NEED TO BE OVER BECAUSE OF THIS, Regrets! Thousands of marriages are saved every year despite infidelity, and there are numerous books, counseling practices and websites beyond even this one that have great track records in restoring and healing marriages damaged by infidelity.
Today, this seems hopeless. I can say categorically that your mind WILL waffle all over the place in the days, weeks and months ahead as to whether or not this is possible, and whether or not you even WANT it. But it IS possible, and there are simple (not easy, but simple) plans that the two of you can follow.
