Newly Seperated - What To Do?

[Uncool Cat]

Thanks for all the responses everyone. They are helpful. As everyone has said, I hate it that you are going through what I am because I wouldn't wish this on anyone. I am grateful for the responses, and frankly a little amazed that people take the time to read about our situations. Still Waters, I hope you have as great time in China. I would love to go almost anywhere outside the US. I just haven't had the time or the money. You should feel proud. I'll be glad when I get to that point.

I'll give you all a quick update. I don't have long to write, so I stress quick. I had a conference to attend this weekend, so I wasn't able to keep the boys as usual. I asked W if I could see them Sunday afternoon. It wouldn't be easy to take them to my dad's place, so I asked if I could visit there. She agreed. I thought she would go running, but when I arrived, I septic repair man was blocking the drive. We ended up with a $3000 septic repair bill (joy).

Anyway, she ended up staying the whole time I was there - this had to do with the septic man blocking the drive. She seemed cold and seemed to try to avoid me. This was no big surprise, but after a while I just wanted to get out of there. It was difficult to enjoy the boys even though she was trying to stay away from me. I don't really expect her to want to talk to me, but after a couple of hours of the blizzard treatment, I just can't take it anymore and I want to leave.

Also, at that particular time I was having a weak moment. I thought, "We haven't talked in almost 20 days. Surely she must have something to say to me. Something she wan't to get off her chest." I also thought that it would be a good idea to try to work something about about sharing the house. I wanted to talk about that. Therefore, I asked her to call me after the kids were down.

Thankfully, in the interum, my friend called. He has gone through this and knows the ropes. He calmed me down and convinced me not to talk about these issues with her. He does have a little different mindset. He's not a DB guy, but he has gone through other programs and been successful. He told me to tell her that I missed her and I was thinking about her. He told me no sad voice inflections, no down and out tone of voice. He also told me not to expect anything.

I'm not really sure if he was right, but I had asked her to call. I needed to have some reason. So when she called, I mustered up as much positive energy as I could and told her I missed her. Her reation was, "OK."

I probably shouldn't have said this. I'm going to do my best not to make this mistake again. All I really did was make myself feel bad. Moving on...lesson learned.

I'm going to try to focus on me this week. I'm starting an exercise routine, and I'm going to pitch some songs to a producer friend of mine. Don't worry you won't hear my acoustic blues on the radio anytime soon.

I have written much longer than I intended. Take care everyone and keep up the DB.