WAW - Very confused and devestated - pt 4

[confusedinpa]

It was a odd morning.

It started the same as it has the last several weeks. She was still acting nice. That justt the way she is, even when she's mad.

That has been part of the problem with our relationship. I can never tell when she is really mad/upset and letting it pent up inside her. She has in the past had her emotional breakdowns (crying) but would stop after a bit and tell me she was ok when I asked her.

My mistake had been that I didn't know how to deal with her crying so I would give her space. Apparently, she wanted me to run after her and comfort her (now she tells me). She feels since I didn't, I didn't care or love her and made her feel emotionally abandoned. This resentment just built up over time to "kill" her love for me.

Before I left for work, she did come to give me a hug and asked me to crack her back. I did, but did not try to give her a kiss on the check (first time I didn't kiss her in the morning). I know I lingered too long in the hug, I really need to work on breaking away first.

We're suppose to have a counseling session tonite. We hadn't talk about it so I'm not sure if she will still be going. I'll find out tonite whether her mom shows up to watch the kids or not. I'm going either way because I do need some help.

I'm really at a quandry here. I know I need to give her what she wants as that is suppose to be the purest form of expressing love. I'm just afraid that all it will do then is add pain to the lives of my kids.

I feel so alone...