Maybe I should be in piecing part 6?

[Hope4us]

That's definitely a problem Mel. Before we relocated, we had 3 sets of couples that we were VERY close with. When we did stuff with other people, it almost ALWAYS included them. But after we relocated, W's job is working with a large number of people she really can't stand except for.....wait for it.....OM and EGF. Imagine that. And it's funny that when we do get together with those couples on the rare occasion we're in our hometown, she's a totally different person. Couldn't have been a worse situation to set this up from happening if we'd have tried. And one of the guys W works with that she can't stand warned her the first week she was there that OM was always fishin for women even though he was married and she fell for it anyway.

I read something on another board that I feel is so true in our case and I thought I'd share. This guy said his W had an A and because it was so against her morals to do it, she had to be "in love" with her OM and had to "hate" her H to justify it. And now that the A is over, his W is hanging on to the idea that she never loved her H because to admit otherwise, she would have to face what she's done.

I know I've read that same thing here in one fashion or another a number of times, but I think that fits our sitch to a "T". I see it when W and I are away and we connect. I see it when W has a couple of drinks and forgets all the rationalization b.s. I see it when it's the weekend or she's on vacation away from work, but then she goes back to work and either contacts OM or EGF fills her head with crap and she's right back to the rationalizing, entitled, justified wayward mindset. This weekend was a perfect example. Friday night was nice. Saturday had a great time, Sunday a lazy day around the house. W did laundry, I went grocery shopping and we just hung out. I did some reading and W was engaged with me all day. But today is back to work and I'm sure she'll be different again when we get home tonight.

The more this goes on the more sure I am that it will come to a point where I've finally had enough and I'll walk and then she'll figure it out and want to make it work. The thing I wonder is if I'll even care when that happens.

I'm sure in her mind she's trying. I'm almost 100% sure she wants us to be together in the long run. I see it in how she acts with the kids, I see it in how she talks about our future, I see it in how she is when she's NOT at work, but there's still that wayward mindset that she was justified and it's all my fault. And I feel that she thinks it's ok to be "friends" and talk with OM and it's not affecting us and how she feels about me.

So...I know a lot of you are going to say I need to confront her, but at this minute, I'm not going to. I'm going to give her more time to figure it out on her own and when I can't take it anymore, then I'll confront.

Maybe that's the wrong path to take, but it's the one I'm going to.