Good for you for the hair and massage (and other stuff), I'd like to think that you feel better for it:)
I think you know the answer to your dilemma about separating the illness from the man. You can't, only he can. You can guide, support, assist by whatever means available as you are doing, but only one person can cure him.
You can love him because that's the sort of person you are, loving and giving. It's nothing to do with what he has done or how it hurts, it's your nature Kass. I'm glad to say, in one repsect, that you are stuck with it. I wouldn't want you any other way. Lose yourself, lose everything. Keep being the Kass that loves. It hurts sometimes, but it gives so much pleasure the rest of the time
