Brian, It's hard to answer the type of question you're asking - because the answer could lead you in the wrong direction, I'm afraid - even if someone had experienced exactly what you describe. A while back, Coach said something to me that change my thinking about my situation - he referred to my thoughts and concerns about how my wife would have to change as wasted energy...why? Because I could put all that time and energy to better use by focusing on what I could take care of in myself instead - then, if it should come about that wife would want to be with me again, she would want to be with a healthier version of myself...who doesn't go about wasting so much energy on thoughts of how anyone else (i.e. my wife) might change.
Now, I've been here for a while - and my situation is almost ten months old now - and I've ended up going in a very different direction that what I expected when this all started. But that's sometimes what happens when we start asking ourselves the tough questions about ourselves - and we start to deal with the ways in which we had not achieved our goals of being great men, great husbands, etc.
Which books have you been reading? Are you reading any of the Patricia Evans books or Love without Hurt?
