The trouble is that she set a time table that I'm already one-third of the way through. I'm not so much worried that I can't change her thinking as I am that I'll run out of time.
However, what do you make of the "you have a place...too" comment? It was almost as if she had let her guard down for a second and spoke before she realized it. I know better than to run with something like that, but I also know that it is important to note small successes as well.
Her overall demeanor has been noticeably upbeat recently (with the exception of today), so I wonder if the medication isn't helping her also.
As far as the repeated dialogue, I agree wholeheartedly. The thing is, I'm not sure how to change it without coming across as either snide,confrontational, or needy. I can't approach it as not being important or else I might be construed as snide. If I object to it I'll probably be confrontational. If I point out all the things I've done to improve it, I will definitely come across as needing her approval and only making the changes for her to stop the divorce.
The philosopher Kant once wrote about why people should leave things in the supernal alone. He argued that God existed because God needs to exist. Once man begins to try to prove the existence of God he opens up floor for people to disprove God's existence. In Kant's theory, atheism came into existence only when people tried to prove an already accepted concept. While I'm not comparing my marriage to great philosophies, I think that philosophy can work in Rs as well. I think when we try to prove how we are changed or better people or point out all of the things that we've done correct, we also open those points up for debate and the reaction we get can often times be negative. When we do things (like the 180s) and allow them to be accepted, instead of pointing them out as "proof" it leaves no point to be debated and must be viewed for what it is.
If I could just get the supposedly "solid" time frame off of the table, I probably wouldn't be so rushed. I could also better consider the separation vs. staying to fight sitch. My wife is not stupid and she knows me well enough that if I go through with the separation as I outlined earlier, she may very well figure out what I'm doing and it could backfire on me. However, I also know my wife well enough that she has the discipline to see it through the remaining time because she's set herself up to almost be challenged into doing it.
