One thing I would suggest is not attempting to gauge her individual reactions - WAS will pogo around like crazy, many exhibit symptoms that would almost have you believing bi-polar.
They are suffering from immaturity, guilt, an overwhelming flood of mental stimuli, the hormonal rush from an affair whether EA or PA, and certainly not in charge of their own minds.
I think the fact that she texted you multiple times trying to tell you about where she was can be even read two ways - one, she is guilty, and feels badly, or even two, is worried that you won't watch the kids and let her party hearty.
I usually see if I can apply a negative answer to something - and if I can, I let it go. For example, she asked to have dinner. That could mean that the detaching is working and is bothering her. OR, it could mean that she's trying to be the good little mom and assuage her guilt. So, discard it.
When you hear statements like: "I'm so sorry I had an EA, and it was wrong, and it'll never happen again." - then is the time to look up and pay attention.
However, the detaching and miscellaneous texts is great! I don't think completely ignoring is nearly as effective as quick, I-can't-be-bother responses!
