After only being in newcomers for a short time compared to some other members, here I am with D approaching fast.
Mainly here to get support as I go through this D process.
Any of you familiar with my sitch may know that my H actually filed for D just 2 weeks after the bomb back in October 08. He has been jerking me around ever since and I got the papers in the mail in January. Everything changed and happened so fast. Still won't admit to an A, but I am 99% sure there is one going on. I will move it up to 100% when I actually have proof, or an admission, if either of those even happen. He changed his passwords to everything so fast, I never even had a chance to snoop. Which is fine, I feel like I know the truth in my heart.
I choose to pray for my M everyday as I know it is truly in God's hands. I for now, have chose to move forward with my life and for real this time. Not just saying it and then letting H walk all over me.
We have been physically separated for a month and a half. A lot of drama, going back and forth, I think I finally just reached my breaking point and I am letting him go. I am giving him what he wants. He is paying one last debt off tomorrow and once that clears I am sending in the D papers.
Its sad, but at the same time I AM looking forward to my future! I am about to finish school in 2 months, I have already had job offers, I have got a great group of friends and I attend a wonderful church. I choose to focus on the good in my life instead of my failing M.
For a while I felt like I was giving in, but I now see how badly he has treated me recently and its time to put my foot down. I cant stop the D, I cant change his mind..and he is the type that would ML with me and then 10 minutes later ask me if I have signed the D paperwork.
So, I join you all here for the good and bad days. Thank you for reading
