Nice to hear from you. H is seeing a C that we went to for MC last year, and I did have some IC with him afterwards. C knows where I am coming from and is probably trying to help H understand.
H is getting a lot of support from AA people and reading as well as IC. He is a very emotionally dependent person on one hand and then he can be as far away as the moon. His roller coaster - no middle ground or balance.
I like helping people a lot - but I don't like dependency - just as my kids. Early in our R, my H mentioned something about that part of my nature -and thought something was wrong with me. I didn't agree. I am the kind of person who will work harder than you on something if you are working it yourself - but if you arent' doing anything - I back off.
This makes it sometimes easy and often hard as my H works on himself and his problems, but not always. When he drops the ball he gets angry because he thinks I should be picking it up for him and I made it clear that it wasn't in the job description - when it really is about what I said earlier.
