I know what to do. Just need the support.

[noedphi]

I guess you might think it would bother me if I am writing about it. Maybe it does a little but I am smiling while writing this. It goes to show you how well god works. Oh ya what am I writing about?? W has not been home since friday. Hope she is having a good time.

Me I am getting caught up on my life. Paid some bills and I am about to go buy a new hat. Was supposed to go out yesterday but plans fell through. But next week is a new week. Had a great week at work.

Have to talk to the W soon. Need to find out if she filed the D yet. And what we are doing with the house. I want all this behind me so I can move on.

For everybody that asks if there is a chance for their sitch. Yes there is. You have to work on it. For me personally I dont think there is a chance and now I dont want it. I know for a fact I could never let go what she has done to me. Its a moral thing with me. No matter how much I have grown as a person. I could not ever forget. She is completely forgiven and still very much loved from me and I pray for her soul. But for me to let myself be treated like this and take her back, what kind of man would I be??

She told me it has been bad for a year and a half. All she had to do is sit me down and tell me. And tell me "things are bad" until I understood. The M obviously was not that important to her. Many times During the last year and a half I asked her during our fights if she thought we should get a D. All she had to do is tell me "if things dont change then YES" Sounds like I am blaming her. But you know It was me too I did not pick up on the signs. BUT if I thought I wanted out and I wanted a divorce I would have let her know.

So now I continue to better myself. So everybody around me will be better for knowing me. I will be hanging around here cause I want to keep everybody up dated. And maybe give some insight to anyone who might need it.

It is kind of crazy how I have gotten where I am so quickly. For some of you, you will not get here for a while. Some of you might get here quicker than I have. But we all will get to this point. Where is this you might ask??? It is a place where you actually KNOW. You know it is going to be ok.

Either you know there is no chance and have accepted you have done all you can do and it is time to move on. Or you know things are working and you have to just keep up everything you have learned here to save your M.

So I am starting to repeat myself. But I want to tell all the newbies here. ONE WAY OR ANOTHER IT GETS BETTER. Just hang in there and lean on us we are there for you.