Yes, I have thought about it, alot, I just dont post about it as its still so hypothetical. I will 'feel my way' along if he does ever, ever, broach trying again with me. I have my ideas about it (we would have to 'date', get to know each other again, have fun, not mention Helen very much in the early days, but later in 'stage 4' as Jody says, we would have to talk, he would have to go to a GUI clinic, we'd take a holiday.. etc etc) but, I dont think you can plan these things too much. I've learnt that much over the past 18 months, life is what happens to you when you are busy making other plans hey.

Yes I do have to tell him about the flat, inevitably we will end up doing that by email. I wonder if he will offer his address to me for the paperwork, or offer to meet to sign stuff or.. most likely, he will just tell me I can go ahead and forge his signature on everything. Yep, done that before, on one of the leases, on our mortgage application, etc. That way, he can avoid seeing me, he will paint it as.. oh thats easier for you, I'm no good at all this, you read and sign everything...

I think I am beginning to forget what he looks like and what he is like.. i've only seen him twice Sep - now. I'm sick of feeling so rejected and not even worthy of an hour of his life. It feels like he doesnt even want to be my friend, but thats ridiculous, he emailed me 4 times last week and the week before and about 8 times the week before that. Noone in my life emaiis me that much! (oh, apart from Cher) so we are still in friendly contact. Perhaps we are veyr very slowly building back up to stage 2 - friendship. We were there pre-Helen and about to jump to stage 3 - romance and of course he bailed - after spending the weekend with me, he then started dating her 2 weeks later.

So we had to start back at stage 1 - reducing feelings of guilt and shame and negativity (is that right!? lol) and we arent really in stage 2 yet as there are still 'taboo' subjects and I dont have his phone number. Guess its going to take a long time, with the added complication of her. I just hope he acts on his decision soon to end it with her. I also hope he remembers my birthday! Although I will try not to place too much importance on it if he doesnt.