...but you know, if THIS is how you really feel...then it goes back to the point about if/when you'll "hear" the permission, and what that would sound/feel like to you. Could be, you already have it.
((( j )))
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016