Over the Shock - Detaching and GALing

[Thinker]

After thinking about it, I realize that this interaction is just another example of the dynamic that we have had for years.

- I make plans or start do do something (without her input - either because I don't ask, or because she is uncommunicative about her own plans)
- She gets angry
- I back down to keep the peace and to stop her from being angry
- She does what she wants to do
- I feel resentful

...and then after the resentment builds up for a while, I can get a little bit ugly - lecturing, criticizing, etc.

I need to break the cycle.

Any suggestions...