To an extent, I agree with puppy. You seem to be where I was a while ago - focusing on DB and watching everything your W does to see if it is working and if things are moving in the right direction.
After a while I found that this was just another way of me focusing on my W instead of myself. Recently, I have had to focus more on being "lovingly detached". Ie, I am not being dim - I am upbeat, talkative, etc - but in general, I am caring less and less about what she is doing and what she is thinking and more and more about what I am doing and what I am thinking (and feeling). This is the only thing that is going to give my W the space she needs to make up her mind, allow me to improve myself for myself, and enable me to maintain the effort for the duration that is probably going to be necessary.
Me 42, W 39, S8, S6, S2 M 11y, A & ILYBNILWY 11/08 Walking away from a bad situation.
