Yoyo's Playhouse

[Yoyowife]

I'm doing okay. I've just been doing lots of soul searching. I've come to these conclusions.

1) H can't be trusted. He's proved that time and time again.
Lying has become second nature to him. I have no proof that he
is lying to me about anything now, but he isn't being even
"translucent" at this time, much less transparent.

2) H has not fired OW/Secretary which tells me that:
a) He values his business over his marriage/family.
b) He still has an addiction to her
c) Both (This is the answer I choose)

3) H finds so many faults with me that must be changed before he
is willing to come home, yet does not agree to remedy any of
his faults. He wants me to get rid of the 2 dogs, ummmm...
how about the dog he has working for him????

I talked to H briefly Saturday night and told him I thought that divorce was the best choice for us. He said he tried but he just doesn't have feelings for me. His words were "I guess we have been apart too long." I'm okay, I've come to realize that I'm worth more than what he makes me feel like.

I'm not saying that I wouldn't be open to reconciling our marriage, but without him also working on the marriage, I don't see a chance for us. He would have to work on the issues I listed above, which we all know will not happen.

As many of you know I have accepted him back so many times. Yes, I've told him that I wouldn't be in a marriage with three people, but I haven't really pushed the issue. They are just words and he sees that.

I've been afraid of divorce and being alone. I've even been afraid of the legal proceedings to be honest with you. I realize this is not healthy for me or my girls. I've got to regain control of my life.