Oops!!.......I think I've dropped the rope!!

[ddstartingover]

[[[[[SC]]]] - I've never posted to you before, but appreciate the post on my thread, so I thought I would stop by. Ahhhh.....the backslides. It really is tough. I too wish I could find out how they can "turn off" any emotion or feelings for the person that has been by their side for almost 30 years.....I guess maybe if they truly feel their life is now sh** then maybe it is just so obvious to them that we are the cause and thus the ability to cut all ties.................I don't know. I wish I had that magical crystal ball...........or had it 30 years ago.

My h's birthday was yesterday. It was the first time I haven't celebrated with him in almost 30 years. He had the kids, which I guess for now is all he wants............well them, and OW when she fits in his schedule. I wonder if he even talked to his mother.......I don't know if she would even call since she's so upset with him right now.

My H denies that he is still with OW. I have proof, but haven't shared it with him. At least he will now admit that it happened----which is more than he would do 2 years ago. He let me blame myself for EVERYTHING during that time. Just what a depressed person with next to no self esteem needed. Now I fear that he's just denying that he is still with her, to bide his time until after we D. Nothing has been done towards D, as far as I know - but since he's a lawyer, maybe he has it all figured out. Sometimes I wonder why OW puts up with his current status. H is so afraid of losing the kids, that I'm pretty confident that is what is keeping us in "limbo."

I wish I had advice. I wish I had the answers. But I don't. I am here for support, though. I'm sure I would have a D- on my DB report card-----a lot of backsliding myself..........hang in there.............