I finally found your thread. I wanted you to know that I have been trying to catch up on your situation. I read through your (this) thread .. rather quickly.
Just something to throw out .. and maybe it's already been suggested ..?
You say that your H is getting some counseling. While I know that neither one of you is ready for any kind of "couples" counseling right now .. what about asking your H if you could accompany him to one or two of his sessions? Am wondering if your H's counselor (after meeting with you also for a couple of sessions) could get your H to understand where you are coming from as far as your need for space? Your H obviously is not getting that.
This is (IMO) a very difficult situation, I think .. because your H is going through some really huge things right now and I think he is really feeling need for some kind of "support" from you. Not sure how that can be accomplished with you trying to disengage from his constant rollercoaster ride. Have you thought about individual counseling for yourself?
