Fair observations, Puppy. Now you see, if you and me were M, we'd be having one of those unsolvable debates over what something "really" means here, wouldn't we?
Let's break it down a bit -- I'm pretty certain we're not reading things (in MWD) the same way. Here's my POV:
I'm going to refer to p. 128 in DR, under "GAL":
* stop acting as if you're a victim. Check * immediately start doing things that are out of character. Check * become more upbeat in your partner's presence. Check * appear pleased w/ yrself and yr own life. Check * pull back and wait to see if yr spouse notices. Check
Nothing I did last night violated any of those precepts. As to the body language, both DB and DR repeatedly talk about observing it. Does it mean she's on her way home? No. Does it mean I think this will all be over tomorrow? No.
But 2 weeks ago she couldn't stand to be in the same room as me. Ate her meals in the dining room or at the sink whenever I was at the kitchen table. 1 week ago at MC, C started out by saying C wished there was a video of us coming into the C room because it could be used in training programs as an example of 2 people totally at odds.
Now she joined ME at the kitchen table (maybe she won't today -- it's on her, not me -- can't control it).
She was relaxed enough to ask me to join HER at the teevee (maybe she won't be tonight -- it's on her, not me -- can't control it).
You might be right -- she might be trying to massage her own guilt -- it's on her, can't control and don't want to know. Whatever works for her.
But, referring to p. 130 (Step 5: Monitor) in DR:
* Be loving in return but not overly excited or enthusiastic. Check. * Accept some invitations but not all. Check.
So I'm monitoring. AT A MINIMUM, normal human comfort in each other's presence means to me that, post-D -- if that's the way it goes -- there's a hope that we won't be Hatfields and McCoys with the children in the middle.
On another thread someplace, someone (almost certainly a guy) suggested that one be a "patient predator." What does a predator do? Watches and waits and reads for signs of comfort in the prey.
Watching and waiting. I'll pounce much later. Maybe. Or maybe not.
