Strange one last night. After I posted my 11:24 p.m. [I assume that must be E. coast time?], W went upstairs to read kids their bedtime story. I puttered around doing my thing -- dishes, let pup out, etc. Heard a conflict upstairs, went to check it out -- but not get in way of W's parenting. Smaller kid refused to leave bedroom so bigger kid could have own story time. So I took smaller kid in hand, defused sitch, and life went on. After kids in bed, W asks "you going to bed?" Me: Maybe. Haven't thought about it. Then leave room. W putters around.
Now what? I was "dim." I left the room first. But I can't just disappear into the guest room w/o a "goodnight," since we've been talking already.
Remembering that Michele says every interaction has to put you in best possible light (I have a little MWD notebook I keep in pocket at all times, moving from sports jacket to jeans to robe to wherever I am), I take a chance and speak first -- "Hey, if you want to watch T.V. down there I can hit the sack; there's nothing on my plate right now." Not about me -- about her. What does she want/need? Not about pursuit. Just a kindness to the mother of my children.
Pause. Then a baby step. "No. I, um, was going to do some work but, um." Then W asks if I want to watch television show w/ her.
Me: "Sure. That'd be good."
And so we do.
Now we have an L-shaped sectional sofa. W sitting on one part of the L, me on the other. I let her drive the remote (doing a 180!). She's eating some chips, I'm just sitting, watching calmly, happy to be watching teevee.
MWD says you have to pay attention to body language. At MC #1, body language was all upright, arms crossed, staring straight ahead.
Now more relaxed. Then she sort of lies down a bit. Okay, no big deal, right? But -- watch the body language -- w/ her head towards the part of the L I'm on.
MWD -- don't get overenthusiastic. I "don't notice."
But what do you think? Baby step? At least seems to suggest some comfort, right?
(Of course, could be contentment with her decision to drop the D-bomb but.....agh! Don't go negative!!)
