Although I have been sorely tempted a number of times, I have refrained from confronting OM directly. Although I really wanted to, I always feared that it might cause more problems in the long run. Besides that, it really could backfire.
In my case, the AP was more passive (enjoying the attention of the EA, but not pursuing), and was also married. When I confronted my W and exposed the A, I told her that I thought he was as guilty as she was in carrying on the EA and that I thought his wife should know. This got back to him through my W and that was enough to really scare him.
I have run into him a few times since then, and he has always turned and walked away when he saw me.
Me 42, W 39, S8, S6, S2 M 11y, A & ILYBNILWY 11/08 Walking away from a bad situation.
