To the mother ship: WHEN DO I GET MY HUSBAND BACK?

[Sanderika]

BND,
Thank you again for being here for all of us....

My H recently found out he has diabetes so we have spent a huge amount of time talking about that and the ramifications. He has a commercial drivers license and will not be able to keep it if he becomes insulin dependant.

We also talk about our company and the daily ins and outs of that and jobs he has or has already done.

He is also an antique vehicle/equipment collector and we spend a lot of time talking about carburetors and engines and old snowplows...I am very pleased to talk with H. And for now whatever he wants to talk about is good with me.

H is not at the point that he phones me several times a day or every day for that matter. We most often talk right here at the house and when he does call they are always pleasant conversations. I am on a mission to keep it that way, friendly and warm and interested.

I don't bring up things about son/I much...now that I think about it I should, otherwise we must seem like boring people.

My H has brought me one load of firewood this season and a friend has brought me 3 loads. When my H found out that a friend was supplying my wood H stopped asking me if I wanted some more. But the thing is, when H asked me if I wanted some more I said yes. the friend just so happened to beat H to the punch. H never made another comment or asked me again.

Once a month H brings the gas(heating) bill over for me to pay. Even though I am heating with wood my bill still runs about $350/month. I have expressed to H that I can't pay such high bills and he says nothing. I live in ME! We are practically neighbors and it has been extremely cold here this winter.

I am mindful of the pride issue my H has. I worry that that is possibly keeping him from taking the plunge as well. I am glad to hear that it is only magnified by the MLC.

Also, I never mention the OW to him. I never blame him. I never admit any of his mistakes or shortcomings. I never bring up any of the problems he has caused to us all. As far as he is concerned he is completely forgiven for all of his "sins". I don't want to bring any of it up either, it just hurts to so I keep it buried, I am honest with my forgiveness to H and I practice it everyday. I couldn't treat H well if I had not forgiven him. The "old" S was a grudge holder the "new" S is definitely not one.

My H, and I have said this before, tells me he feels comfortable around me again and in the home and in talking with me. He said he enjoys my company and even tells me I am the best cook. I like the compliments again.

Thank you BND for your honesty. I value your opinions. I am pleased that you think things here are looking positive. I feel we have a ways to go as well.

The one thing truly lacking for H is trust. He thinks I will turn depressed again. He is very leary of this and mentions it from time to time.

I am doing what you say already and I, as the LBS, do not and will not throw his screw ups in his face, even though we all know he is screwing up!!! I think he already knows this too.

I guess like you say, he isn't completely comfortable yet and is running again. NOW, if OW would only wear her true colors every time they are together.....

(((((HUGS))))) to you too!! And I will look you up in MLC.

My thread is actually in solution journals. I don't know where I really belong, none of the forums seem to completely fit my sitch, IMO.

Good night, my friend...

Sanderika