I am glad I was able to help you. Sometimes my words come across as very harsh, and it often offends, which is definately not my intent.
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NOW, I am going to do my best not to piss him off so he won't be able to say "S you haven't changed one bit". I walk on egg shells around him and am more than gracious and accomodating.
Honey, why are you doing this?
You need to be yourself, the new you.
The Woman that made all of those changes.
The way you communicate has to change, but you do not need to walk on eggshells.
This was also my biggest challenge, learning how to wait for the "right" moment so that I could share my feelings with him about a particular situation.
Choosing the "right" words, and relearning how to communicate properly.
The old Marriage is dead.
You do not want to go back to that relationship.
You want a brand new one!!!
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You made me think real hard. I have not set boundaries except that I do not ever contact him for anything no matter what. I do not keep him informed about son either. I ask for nothing. I will not tell him I am out getting a second job.
He needs to be more responsible, especially when it concerns your Son and your finances. IF he were to come home, it is only fair to him to know what expectations you have of him.
If you want to be the independant Woman and have to work two jobs to make ends meet whilst your Husband can do as he pleases, that is your choice, BUT if you set the standard in the begining, then you can NOT change your mind later.
Men are not mind readers. Say what you want and mean what you say.
It is just the way you say it that will make all of the difference.
Do NOT be afraid to rock the boat, just don't tip the boat over.
Choose your words wisely, always.
Choose your battles.
And before you open your mouth, ask yourself "Is this the hill I want to die on"
And last but not least....Breathe!!!
By the way, you should start a FaceBook account. You will find so many of your DB friends there, and it is a fun way to communicate.
((((hugs))))
There can be no testimony without a test. I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.
