To the mother ship: WHEN DO I GET MY HUSBAND BACK?

[Sanderika]

brandnewday...Hello

I have read your post no less than 14 times this past week. I want you to know that you have given me a huge amount to think about.

I feel like your sitch was identical to how mine is.

You describe your H and his behaviors and you might as well be talking about mine. All of your answers to my questions is how it is here.....

My H has done everything yours did except come back.

NOW, I am going to do my best not to piss him off so he won't be able to say "S you haven't changed one bit". I walk on egg shells around him and am more than gracious and accomodating.

NOW, that being said, I agree with you something has to change here because what I am doing is not working.

I spent the last week out looking for a second job. My current job which I am keeping doesn't pay my bills and H hasn't provided one red cent to us. I am losing my ability to support my son and I so I will roll up my sleeves and get another job.
I can have one in elder care but the pay is horrible. I can start on Thursday. I will probably do that though.

You made me think real hard. I have not set boundaries except that I do not ever contact him for anything no matter what. I do not keep him informed about son either. I ask for nothing. I will not tell him I am out getting a second job.

I agree that I need to have a R talk asap.

brandnewday, you actually scared me. I did not like what you said. I do not see any changes occuring in my sitch. I think you are right on the money. I also want to thank you for your time and honesty.

I am hoping my second job will create a huge unavailability of myself to H. I am hoping he will start to wonder why I am never around. I wonder if perhaps this will empower me further to make some better choices as well. Perhaps, who knows, if H sees I have actually moved on in my world he will not want to lose me and will want to be a part of it again.

I am also very lonely, I am hoping this will open doors for me to meet new people and create a bigger circle of friends for me.
I already have great friends but everyone is coupled up and I am always a fifth wheel. I usually fit in cause they love me but I am frequently very uncomfortable as well.

I need more in my life. I am thinking I have waited long enough for H to decide I am worth taking a chance on.

Thank you brandnewday, please keep in touch with me...I have a ways to go and the drama will not end right away.

Sanderika