Sorry about the hijack but kassie's identity is too confusing for me and my tiny brain to find her elsewhere...
Um, briefly. My parents began to "date" after dad went to AA and they overtly enjoyed each other's company. That was a first in my memory. It took 2- 3 years before they were close enough but that included dad really "getting it" but he was crushed for a long time with the realizations. In fact my MOM called me to tell me that I had "depressed your father" with my forthrightness at his questions... So they were much closer than before. I often wonder if they had simply moved back in together, and bought a home again, but she had kept a room of her own, it could have been totally fine. (They had sold the house at the point of separation).
They never divorced. Once he stopped drinking, he was so much more interesting and his education was an enjoyable thing for us. Holidays were eventually shared by all (not the first 2 years though) and they gave each other good presents AND HE planned her 70th birthday.
But before a truly full reconciliation happened, they were only living a few miles away from each other, and seeing each other often. He'd come over and cook for her a lot (became a chef after retiring from the nightmare career)...they spoke every day. Attended family events together.
And as they were finding their way in life, he got sick. Instead of visiting me out west, the day before the trip he gave HER the ticket and said he was seeing his doctor. He dropped her off at the airport and went straight over to his physician. When she landed out west she said she was worried about him. While she was at my house on his ticket, he called to say "bad news", and my mom and I rushed back east, and he got some BAD news, daily, for 5 days straight, and went home into a hospice program. He had liver cancer, brought on by his previous drinking. He died in 59 days.
When he got the diagnosis, somehow I was alone with the two of them. First he hid himself under the sheet for a minute and wept. Then he uncovered his face and they began speaking in French, their native tongue. I heard him say "this is my epilogue" and that he loved her, and she said it back. It was the first time I ever heard them tell each other that out loud. Then they hugged and cried.
He had many profound regrets on his deathbed, and he asked for my forgiveness, and I gave it to him. I really did. It was the most holy moment in my life.
When he passed away, my mother was a grieving widow. She speaks fondly of him now and misses him often and so do I.
((( j )))
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
